im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
