1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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