if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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