if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
