i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They took my balls.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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