So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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