We won't sleep together?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
