I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
