I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
