We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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