explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
