i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
