i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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