and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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