That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
