That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
NoShamevember. You game?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
