We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
