she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
