Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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