why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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