Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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