I have demons in me.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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