i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
