Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
