I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
