no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I currently don't understand fingers.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
