tell your sister to shave her snatch
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
