I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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