I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
last night I used snow as a chaser
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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