fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
