I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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