But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
