one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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