So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
