That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Randomize
