My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
