you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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