There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
