Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
