We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
