When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All I want is dick and wine.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
