The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
