josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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