Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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