She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
