Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
