you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
