How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
