Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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