We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
